Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What is Life? Who am I?

What is this thing called life?

When I look at what I experience ... what do I see?

Things and people I interact with? .... actually, colours and shapes and sounds that arise in experience.

When I look for them ....these people and things ... where are they?

Nowhere. Only shapes and colours, and sounds ....

When I look for these shapes and colours and sounds .... where are they?

Nowhere. Nowhere that I can be certain of, anyway. I can't say they are outside, or inside of me ...where is this thing I call experience taking place? Where is the world?

As I look for it .... it melts away. Nothing I try to focus on is stable and can be found for certain.

My life, the world, reality, whatever you wish to call it .. experience ... nowhere to be found ... and yet it's there!!! really there! bang your head on the wall there! .. but nowhere to be found.

Like a dream .... I seem to inhabit this life, this world, with things that cannot be found ... that seem utterly real ... yet do they exist in the way I *think* they do? .. no ... like a dream. Dreamlike .... a dream. An illusion. As if ... like this ....

Regard all Phenomena as Dreams

(from the Seven Points of Mind Training).

So if life is a dream .... then who am I who experiences this dream?

What is experiencing the dream?

I ask that question, and watch.

A space opens out ... no thinking, no labelling, no analysing ... but a knowing. A knowing of what is ....... who am I?


There's nothing there.

Where is this me .... the body ... sensations that appear to arise and cease .. yet they are nowhere to found. Where do they come from ... these sensations of body? Nowhere. Where do they go? Nowhere. Nowhere to be found, coming from nowhere and going nowhere.

Hmm .....

I think about that .... thoughts!

Where are they? ....

Nowhere. Seemingly arising .. yet not actually there .... and not coming from anywhere I can find, or going anywhere I can find ..... like a dream, these sensations of body .... these thoughts.

Emotions too .. memories ... all that I think of as 'me' ... like a dream .. nowhere to be found. I not that ... so what I am ....

What of awareness .... this that is aware of all that seems to arise?

Is that me?

Where is it .... I turn to it .. and watch .....

Seemingly there ... seemingly.

When I experience a sound ... seemingly awareness is there as I experience it.

But what is there beyond the sound ... the seeming experience itself? Nothing lying *behind* it ... beneath it ... beyond it? ... Nothing that I can find.

What is there of me then, if awareness arises ... as experience arises ... and seemingly goes again ... to where, I don't know?

Am I not stable .. continuous?

Dreams that come and go .. seemingly.

Awareness that comes and go ... seemingly.

What is this *I* then ..... but seeming illusions .... that I can't pin down.

This awareness .. this awareness/experience-ness ... that arises together ... simultaneously, co-existently .. where is it?

I can't find it.

Where did it come from?

I can find an answer .....

Where does it go?

I don't know ... it doesn't seem to go anywhere.

Not existing, no coming from anywhere, not going anywhere .... I am not.

Yet I am. I experience this life, this dream ... I bang my head on the wall .... I experience it!

I am nothing ... yet I seem to experience the dream ...

Examine the Nature of the Unborn Mind

(from the Seven Points of Mind Training).

What is Life?

Who am I?

Nobody dreaming.

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